When I was eight months pregnant with Silas, Jayson decided it would be a good time to start his own business. Really, Jayson? NOW? I remember thinking (and probably saying). Despite my initial concerns, God filled me with His peace about our future, our financial provision, and our family’s well-being.
Whenever Jayson looks at the upcoming months on his work calendar and stresses that there are no projects on the schedule, I am filled with that same peace. I pray confidently, knowing that God will provide work. And He always does, usually within days, if not hours, of our prayers. The phone always rings.
I tend to worry, instead, about irrational things. The boys getting kidnapped. SIDS (when they were babies). Jayson getting into a car crash. I worry about these horrific catastrophes that, in all likelihood, will only happen in my useless imagination.
But the real stuff? I give that over to God and breathe a sigh of relief.
So why do I waste my time giving myself anxiety attacks over ridiculous never-even-happened situations that I think up for no good reason? I have no idea. I’m a flawed, fear-filled sinner. But fear is the opposite of love, and God is Love. And I love God. It doesn’t add up.
I remind myself to Philippians 4:8 my thoughts. It always stops me dead in my mindful tracks: Whatever is TRUE… BOOM – right there, Satan’s attacks on my mind and heart get shut down. Pushed out. Buried. Stay down, I tell Satan. You don’t own me, you don’t belong in my thoughts. My heart is already occupied.
And the calm returns.
OK, I’m getting off my shoebox now.