Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Keep It Together

I’ve had enough.  The news of the Terminator’s marriage being terminated has pushed me over the edge.  There are relationships breaking down and falling apart all around me, and it makes me sad and angry and desperate and frustrated and, yet, grateful for the health of my own marriage.

And then there’s the devil, with his evil grin, doing the happy dance.

Marriage is not easy – it’s a lot of hard work, every single day.  It takes effort to constantly think of someone else, to regularly sacrifice for the other person, to bite your tongue as often as necessary.  It takes practice to be selfless.  But when both husband and wife are being selfless, the other gets fulfilled and no one is left empty.  At least that’s the plan.

I know what the Bible says about cheating and divorce.  I know couples who have been in and out of Christian counseling – for years, sometimes.  I know of wives who want to make it work while their husbands don’t care, as well as wives who walk away while their husbands beg them to stay and keep trying.  The lack of mutual commitment to the sanctity of marriage is mind-boggling.

I believe that marriage relationships need to be aggressively and proactively guarded and protected.  Be aware of your relationships, especially of those with the opposite sex, even if they’re Christians – Christians fall into temptation just like everyone else.  Be careful of how you dress, what you say, who you’re with.  Be certain that the things you say and do can not be misconstrued or misperceived.  Sometimes a situation that is seemingly innocent (a meeting over coffee in a public place, driving together to save on gas) can give the illusion of sin – and open a door to temptation.  Avoid it.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that it can’t happen to you, that your love is too strong.  Love is a feeling – it comes and it goes.  Invest in your marriage, keep your collective eyes focused above, communicate often (even when it’s awkward, annoying or uncomfortable), and stay committed to the vows you made on your wedding day.  It will be worth it.

OK, I’m getting off my shoebox now.


  1. Well said and much needed! Thank you!

  2. I totally agree with Nancy! We are seeing long term marriages come apart in our community as well. It is heart-breaking.