Break the Rules

Every morning from Monday through Friday I post a fashion “pick-me-up” on my facebook page. These are pictures of runway looks that inspire me by their beauty, artistry, creativity, innovation, and design. They are looks that I would love to own and wear (if I only had the funds) and they also reflect a more discreet aesthetic, proving that you can be fashion-forward and maintain your dignity.

The comments that these posts receive are thoughtful, passionate, and so very entertaining. Clearly we all have our own opinions about fashion and it’s interesting how many people share that they wouldn’t or couldn’t wear certain looks. Sometimes people just don’t understand the design or find the looks unreasonable and unwearable. Fashion, as most art, is very subjective.

I also get many questions about “the rules.” Fashion rules have often been ingrained in us by our parents from a young age – young ladies may have been taught to “keep your shoulders covered” and young men admonished to “match your belt to your shoes.”

I’m here to tell you that rules were made to be broken. Because really, in fashion, there are no rules anymore.

Here are a few “rules” you can (and should) break:

1. No White After Labor Day – White is no longer considered just a summer color. You can wear white all year long, but be mindful of the material. Try a winter white in heavier fabrics for the colder months (a cashmere sweater or wool coat, for example). However, if you’re brave, you can pull off a white chiffon dress in winter by pairing it with black tights and a motorcycle jacket. 

2. Mixing Gold and Silver – Go ahead and wear your silver and gold jewelry together. Both are considered neutrals and they blend well together. That’s the beauty of accessories – you can mix and match to your heart’s content and just have fun with it.

3. Wearing Black/Blue or Pink/Red – These colors actually DO go together. The trick is to make your outfit look intentional rather than a mistake. You don’t want it to seem like you accidentally pulled out the wrong shoes from your closet that morning. If you’re concerned about the colors blending in, pick shades that contrast a little more – for example, a chambray shirt with a black pencil skirt (instead of navy and black) or a brick red sweater with hot pink pants.

4. Matching Your Shoes/Belt/Bag – This just looks dated. Mix it up! If you think you’ll look like a rainbow clown wearing too many different colors, keep these accessories in the same color family. For example, a yellow belt with camel boots and a chocolate bag. You’ve got this.

5. No Hosiery With Open-Toed Shoes – This one is a little tricky. If you want to pull this off, keep the open toes small (no wide open sandals) and make sure your hose doesn’t have a seam at the toes.

6. No Miniskirts After 35 – I have to confess I sort of agree with this one (Tina Turner notwithstanding). But if you want to wear a miniskirt, do it properly. Think about pairing it with flats, or wearing opaque tights underneath. And please learn to get in and out of a car properly (get in bum first, get out legs first).

7. Formal = Dress – If you’re attending a formal event, think outside the box. You don’t have to wear a dress every time. Pantsuits/jumpsuits are really having a moment right now. And as classic as LBDs are (Little Black Dress), explore a bold color to really stand out in the crowd.

Even though fashion rules can be broken, I’d like to offer three tips to keep in mind:

1. Undergarments – Wear proper undergarments with your outfits. Make sure bras fit properly and panties don’t show when you bend over. And if you’re wearing white (all year long!) wear flesh-colored undergarments. White shows underneath white. 

2. Speaking of white, it’s still not a great idea to wear white to someone else’s wedding. There is a whole spectrum of colors to choose from, so let’s leave white to the bride. 

3. Sweats and yoga pants should be worn to work out. Period. I know they’re “comfortable,” but so are regular clothes.

Any questions? Let me know! Now go on and be your rule-breaking, confident, rebellious, own-your-style, bad self.

OK, I’m getting off my shoebox now.

Choose Your Own Ending...

REAL-LIFE SCENARIO:

I’m sitting in Starbucks working when I get a phone call. I see that it’s the school calling, so I answer. They tell me that James fell during recess and split his lip. There was a lot of blood, but he seems okay. He also got a scrape on his shoulder. No need to panic, but they wanted to let me know.

ENDING 1 – What I WANT to do:

PANIC! PANIC! My baby fell! He’s bleeding. He’s hurt. Did someone call 911? My poor baby! He must be scared! He needs his mommy! I will drop everything and run over there and hug him and hold him and make all of his pain go away like only I can with my magical mommy powers. I don’t ever want him to hurt. Not for one second. Ever.

ENDING 2 – What I THINK I SHOULD do:

They said he’s okay, so be cool. My kids don’t run my life. I’m no helicopter mommy. I’m going to raise independent, resilient, self-sufficient children. He’s a boy and boys are tough. Time to man up, kid – you’re in first grade now. No more kissing boo-boos to make the owies feel better. He’ll forget all about it by the time school’s out.

ENDING 3 – What REALLY happened:

My heart hurt a little that James got hurt, but they said he’s okay so I believe them. I know if he sees me he’ll want to go home. Apparently he told the office his lip didn’t hurt but it was “annoying.” I waited an hour then stopped by at lunchtime to give him some Tylenol in case it was still hurting. Then I said goodbye and left. <DEEP BREATH>

OK, I’m getting off my shoebox now.

Think Pink

I sat in the waiting room trying not to panic.

It’s just standard procedure, I told myself. They’re playing it safe.

My mother died at the age of 49, when I was just 22 years old. Since then, I’ve been very proactive with my health. When I turned 35, I had a mammogram to create a baseline for my doctors, even though there’s no history of breast cancer in my immediate family. Last year, at 40, I had my second one.

But when the results came in, something wasn’t right. So I was sent in for a follow up mammogram.

I sat in the waiting room wearing a thin covering, shivering more from anxiety than the cold air. It was all I could do to distract myself from negative thoughts. I have two young children. I don’t want my husband to watch me suffer. I’ve been through enough – this isn’t fair.

The lady taking my special pictures was very kind, very patient, very encouraging. She was able to get the images looked at right away, while I got dressed. And when she came to talk to me in the waiting area, I held my breath.

“Everything’s fine.”

My eyes welled up. I just couldn’t help it. I felt like an idiot for getting so worried, but why shouldn’t it happen to me? I know God is in control, but I’ve seen – over and over again – bad things happen to good people. Faith in Jesus Christ doesn’t exempt us from suffering; it prepares us for it.

My beautiful Aunt Lola, with gorgeous curls and a husky laugh, died of breast cancer. My hardworking Aunt Araxi fought breast cancer, beat it once, and two weeks ago had surgery to fight it again. My lovely friend Carolynn is a survivor. My sweet friend T.L., who is my age, had a preventive double-mastectomy last year.

And tomorrow, a darling young woman from my home church will be undergoing surgery in her fight against breast cancer. She is 26, brave, faithful, enduring fear and pain and all those things with a smile on her face. In her struggles she is encouraging others, helping at V.B.S., and spending time growing closer to our Lord. She is an inspiration. If you are the praying type, please keep my friend Danielle in your prayers tomorrow.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. When breast cancer is detected early, there is a 98% survival rate (National Cancer Institute). Here are some additional facts from nationalbreastcancer.org:

·  One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime.

·  Breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in women.

·  Breast cancer is the second leading cause of death among women.

·  Each year it is estimated that over 220,000 women in the United States will be diagnosed with breast cancer and more than 40,000 will die.

·  Although breast cancer in men is rare, an estimated 2,150 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer and approximately 410 will die each year.

·  Death rates from breast cancer have been declining since about 1990, in part due to better screening and early detection, increased awareness, and continually improving treatment options.

Ladies, touch your girls! A self-exam only takes five minutes. Here is a link to the five easy steps of a self-exam – please do it once a month and be aware of any changes in your body:  http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/types/self_exam/bse_steps

Our boobs don’t define our identity – our cup size does not determine our femininity. Our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19-20). I know that’s easy for me to say with my unscarred breasts. But Christ broke His own scarred body for us on the cross, so that we would glorify God with ours – and we don’t need breasts to do it.

OK, I’m getting off my shoebox now.