Overall, Suspend the Trend

Here’s the thing about trends – they come and they go.

You finally get your legs into Thakoon Addition’s amazing culottes when you realize you just have to have the new kimono trench straight off Tracy Reese’s runway. And then you dress in head-to-toe white before realizing yellow is all over Michael Kors’ and Christian Dior’s new collections. So you run to the boutique to pick up a military green romper like the one you saw at Marc Jacobs but then you spy the high-waisted shorts that Jill Stuart just put out.

It’s exhausting, really.

There’s no such thing as the latest “it” bag because as soon as everyone has one, there’s a new “it” thing to have.

When I was in college a zillion years ago, I spent two years volunteering as an International Assistant. It was kind of like being a resident assistant in a dorm, except we were there to help our international students adjust to life on campus and in the US. I was assigned students from Australia, Vietnam, Singapore, and even Canada. I taught them about public transportation in Boston, helped them open bank accounts, and showed them how the laundry machines worked. It was a lot of fun.

I learned pretty quickly that most international students have to be pretty well off to be able to study abroad. One friend from the Gulf was showing me photos from home when I asked if the guy he was with in one of the pictures was his father. He laughed and said, “No, that’s my driver.” Another kid spent $2K – EACH – on new rims for his sports car. $8K on accessories for his car! That was the cost of my tuition that semester!

The gorgeous girls from South America had the latest fashions each time they came back to school from break. I knew I couldn’t keep up. And I didn’t want to try. That’s when my true sense of style began to emerge. 

Style is personal. It represents your truest self – not what you see in magazines or on the runway, but how you see yourself. Through clothing, accessories, hair and makeup, style interprets your individuality, your creative expression, and your personal aesthetic.

Style is influenced by your upbringing, your environment, your culture, your family, your personal icons, and of course, what’s happening in the fashion world.

Maybe being trendy is your style, and that’s okay. Once in a while a fashion trend pops up that I like, that fits my style, and that reflects my aesthetic. But I like to take it, twist it, and make it my own.

For example, overalls have been making the trends-round lately. I wore overalls when I was in college, as they were popular in the early 90s. Since then, my stance on overalls has been firm and unwavering: Unless you are a house painter or a toddler, you should not own a pair of overalls. However, never say never…

Summer 1994

Today

OK, I’m getting off my shoebox now.

When It’s Time To Change, It’s Time To Rearrange…

If you grew up in the States in the 70s, you’ll know what the title of this post is referring to. On the classic show The Brady Bunch, Peter Brady’s voice started to change when he hit puberty. Little Peter was growing up! And we grew up with him.

Last week there was a big change in our home. (I’m having a hard time even typing it.) Silas started using deodorant.

Maybe that’s not a big deal to some of you, but MY BABY IS NOW USING DEODORANT.

I knew the day would come, but I was thinking it would happen when he was in junior high school, maybe going into 7^th grade. At least in his tween years. But he’s only 9 (he’ll be 10 in a few weeks). He’s still a child! Or is he?

All I know is that in my mind, he’s still the baby I nervously brought home from the hospital. The one whose diaper I changed every few hours. The one I nursed for months and months. The one I held as he slept, feeling his warm breath on my neck. The one I comforted when he cried. The one whose fingers grasped mine as he was learning to walk. The one I read “Goodnight Moon” to one thousand times. The one I dressed. The one I potty trained. The one I took to the park and pushed in the swing.

That baby is now using deodorant. That means he stinks. He runs and jumps and gets dirty and rides his bike and wrestles with his brother. He sweats. He farts. He smells.

He needs deodorant.

I knew the day would come, but did it have to come so soon?

And just when I finally convinced myself that it’ll be okay – that he’s not packing up and moving out and leaving me forever just because there’s Speedstick on his bathroom counter, James loses a tooth. And this morning he tells me:

“I know you’re the tooth fairy, Mom.”

I think I’ll just bury myself in their baby pictures and cry.

OK, I’m getting off my shoebox now.

Cover Girl?

I got my first subscription to a fashion magazine when I was 13, and have worked with or been involved with fashion ever since. I still remember the red, glossy cover of that first issue of “Model” magazine that arrived in my name. Magazine covers can make a great impact, whether they are selling upcoming trends or promoting diversity or capturing a moment in history.

This morning my Instagram feed was inundated with the same picture: Bruce Jenner announcing his rebirth as “Caitlyn” on the cover of the latest issue of Vanity Fair.

This topic clearly does not jibe with my Christian beliefs, but I don’t want to discuss any of that here. What broke my heart the most this morning was reading the comments below the posts from so-called Christians spewing hatred.

Just to be clear, God doesn’t hate fags, they may not all burn in hell, and gays should not be put to death. (And these were the nicer remarks.)

I don’t know Bruce/Caitlyn personally, so I cannot attest to his/her faith. I also cannot hold accountable anyone who rejects Jesus Christ. What I CAN do, however, is call out the sin of those who claim Christianity.

The Bible tells us again and again to love one another, to love our enemies, to love those who persecute us, to love as God loved us – love, love, love.

1 John 4:8 – The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

Bruce Jenner was searching for his identity, and seems to have found it in “Caitlyn.” We, as believers and followers of Christ, already have our identity in Jesus. And if we therefore have the privilege of being called children of God, then we also have the responsibility to follow His commands: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind… Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39).

The Bible also tells us to be fishers of men, to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19-20).

How – HOW – are we to win souls to Christ with cruelty, hurtfulness and absolute vitriol toward the lost? How are we to show them love when we are slinging flaming arrows and condemning them to hell?

Isn’t it possible to show compassion without approving, accepting or tolerating sin? Didn’t Christ do that for us on the cross?

God does not hate sinners. Here is what God hates, from Proverbs 6:16:

There are six things which the Lord hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that run rapidly to evil, A false witness who utters lies, And one who spreads strife among brothers.

Let’s put down the stones and use our hands in better ways. We can reach out; we can hold hands as we talk and listen and try to understand each other; we can pray.

When I was in my early 20s, I made the mistake of telling my father where I was going one Friday night: to a nightclub to see RuPaul perform. Of course my dad had no idea who that was, and I (stupidly) explained it to him. My father was not pleased, and I (stupidly) set out to defend myself. I smugly told him, “Jesus hung out with sinners, Dad.” And he looked at me and wisely replied, “Jesus saved sinners.”

The world is full of sinners, including Christians. I sin every single day. I am ashamed of my sin; I don’t celebrate it and I’m not proud of it. But I am a sinner nonetheless.

And nowhere in any Bible that I’ve read does it say that it’s okay to hate and condemn each other. That is not our job; we’re called to a higher and much harder purpose: to love.

You don’t have to love that Bruce is now Caitlyn and it’s all over the news. I certainly don’t. But we need to keep ourselves in check: …for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).

OK, I’m getting off my shoebox now.