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We haven’t gone out for ice cream in a while, so since we’re on summer break I thought I’d take the boys this week.

I was thinking I’d get a cone of cookies & cream (my favorite) with some jimmies on top.

And then I thought, no one here knows what jimmies are.

I guess I could just say sprinkles.  But I don’t want to say sprinkles.  I want to say jimmies.

Sometimes I really miss home.

OK, I’m getting off my shoebox now.

The Raw Truth

I was chatting with a friend today when she happened to mention that she doesn’t read many blogs because they tend to show the “perfect” side of peoples’ lives.  This got me wondering if my blog does that.  Do I only show the good and hide the bad?  It’s important to be authentic and real and not pretend everything is always just right, because the truth is that things aren’t just right more often than they are.  Life is messy, relationships are messy, and most of all, kids are messy.  I have a life, many relationships, and two kids.  So in the spirit of honesty, I’m here to share a few not-so-fine moments in my life:

·      Everyone who knows me knows that I can’t cook.  My children eat lots of shells and cheese, croissant sandwiches, and chicken nuggets.  I try my best, but this is a major area of failure for me.

·      When Jayson and I started dating, I lived in Boston and he lived in Fresno.  I would call him every night before I went to sleep to say good night, and he insisted that we pray together before we got off the phone.  It took a LONG time for me to get used to it, but now I’m grateful because it has enriched our marriage very much.  However, I have to confess that there are many, many nights when I get into bed, lay my head on my pillow – and completely pass out.  Prayers are forgotten, but I know I’m forgiven.

·      My kids often eat dinner while watching tv.  There, I said it.

·      Jayson and I fight.  We are different in a lot of ways, and we are both opinionated and strong-willed.  We get angry, we have it out, we give each other space, and then we make up.  I hate that we argue, but we do.

·      I spend way too much time on facebook.  I lack self-control in this area.  I enjoy keeping up with my friends and family all over the world.  I know that my time can be much better spent on more productive things, but I like facebook.

I could easily go on, but I won’t.  I know I’m not perfect, but surprisingly, my desire for perfection ends up paralyzing me instead of motivating me.  There’s always something that can be better, cleaner, or more organized, but my family is healthy and we live for the Lord and, ultimately, that’s all that matters.

And I’ll try to remind myself of that the next time Jayson and I fight about the boys eating chicken nuggets in front of the tv while I’m on facebook.

OK, I’m getting off my shoebox now.

The Crappiest Week Ever – Literally

We had a very unwelcome visitor in our home last week – the dreaded stomach bug.  It started with James; my poor baby was puking and pooping around the clock for days.  Then it hit Jayson and, finally, me.  Thankfully, Silas was spared, and we sent him off to my in-laws’ for a few days to get him out of our germy house.

It was a roller coaster of a week, both physically and emotionally.  Now that we’re all well – and the house has been sanitized – a few thoughts on the week from Hades:

·      It is really, really hard to watch your child suffer.  I don’t mean to overdramatize the situation, as there are many parents dealing with much more difficult circumstances, but seeing your baby in pain, retching constantly, and abnormally lethargic is heartbreaking and frightening.

·      It is really, really hard to deal with watching your child suffer when you are suffering yourself.  Add to that a suffering partner, and it equals a tragically pathetic condition.  I became very emotional this week – keeping James by my side for several nights, and wishing my Mom was around to take care of me.  Ugh.

·      For all my whining about wanting another baby, I think last week wrapped up that desire and tossed it in the garbage.  I haven’t cleaned up that much poop and puke since the boys were babies.  Yeah, I’m definitely over it.

·      Speaking of poop, I’ve never been so happy to hear James plop a solid poop since he was potty training.  Many of our discussions centered around the consistency of our poop, hearkening back to our days in Karabagh when this was our normal breakfast conversation:  “I’m at 60%, how about you?”  I know it’s nasty, but anyone who’s traveled overseas will relate.

·      I did a lot of laundry last week.  A lot.  Somehow the Lord gave me the strength to get this much-needed chore completed.

·      God is good in so many ways.  At my absolute worst, Jayson was feeling a little better.  Then when he got really bad, I started to feel better.  Feeble and pitiful on our own, together we managed to be somewhat useful.

·      I drank some Sprite one day to settle my stomach.  I had not had any soda in 13 years, but it did seem to help.

·      On the plus side, I read about nine magazines that had piled up around the house.  Happy to be rid of those!

·      On the negative side, I lost four pounds in five days and still don’t have much of an appetite.

·      In the pit of pain for several days, God helped me keep my perspective.  I knew we’d get over it, even though it felt like it might last forever.  We prayed constantly, and He answered.  Many friends and family checked in regularly – those messages, texts, and calls gave encouragement that accelerated our healing.  Thank you!

OK, I’m getting off my shoebox now.